Martial arts films often venture into the realm of the bizarre, weaving stories that challenge conventional storytelling norms. The cultural differences between Eastern and Western audiences can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, yet certain peculiarities within martial arts cinema defy cultural translation altogether. From epic Wuxia tales to thrilling tales of modern super cops, the genre consistently dances between the intriguing and the downright odd.
The peculiarities in martial arts films may stem from creative storytelling choices, where imaginative fantasy concepts collide with the limited budgets typical of many kung fu productions. This fascinating intersection results in a unique blend that can be both striking and absurd. Additionally, minor decisions—such as awkward English dubs, eccentric character actions, and nonsensical plots—accumulate to create an overwhelming sense of weirdness.
10 Gymkata
An Absurd Mashup of Martial Arts and Gymnastics
An astonishing case of blending martial arts with gymnastics, Gymkata emerged from producer Fred Weintraub’s desire to cast Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas in a film after being inspired by a TV commercial. This eclectic fusion leads to a disjointed narrative where Thomas stars in a loose reinterpretation of “The Terrible Game,”wherein a martial arts tournament decides the fate of a potential nuclear conflict between the U.S. and Russia. The choice to send a gymnast to avert disaster is as perplexing as it is humorous.
Throughout this film, viewers witness Kurt Thomas’s character deploy an absurd mix of gymnastics and kung fu moves. The nonsensical fight sequences are highlighted by a particularly ludicrous encounter where he battles a village populated by criminally insane characters. In one memorable moment, during a chaotic skirmish, a character slices his own hand to intimidate Thomas’s hero.
9 The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires
An Unruly Blend of Martial Arts and Horror
The martial arts genre frequently merges with other cinematic styles, including horror, resulting in bizarre concoctions like The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires. This film, born from a collaboration between the renowned Shaw Brothers and Hammer Film Productions, features the famous character Van Helsing combating a Chinese vampire cult supported by a family of kung fu masters.
Despite its intriguing premise, the execution results in a hilariously bizarre cinematic experience. Van Helsing, portrayed by Peter Cushing, appears bewildered as he watches the elaborate kung fu battles unfold. Overall, the film serves as an amusing testament to the challenges of marrying distinct genres into a cohesive narrative.
8 The Battle Wizard
Mixes Magic and Muscles for Bizarre Results
The Shaw Brothers Studio, known for its unique contributions to kung fu films, also produced the 1977 gem, The Battle Wizard. While not as widely recognized, this film offers a bizarre narrative that revolves around a scholar and his sister as they confront three increasingly surreal villains. The film’s primary protagonist embodies an unconventional martial arts technique that allows him to shoot laser beams from his fingertips, leading to outrageous confrontations with various peculiar adversaries.
Among the oddest foes is a villain with flying hook arms and a masked woman who threatens to marry or kill those who see her face. The film culminates in an outrageous showdown with a wicked wizard possessing mechanical legs capable of breathing fire.
7 The Thundering Mantis
At first glance, The Thundering Mantis may seem like a common imitation of the Drunken Master, featuring a cliched storyline about a boy learning a new fighting style to combat local bullies. However, it is the disturbing climax that catapults the film into the hall of fame of weird kung fu cinema. After the protagonist is captured, his sidekick suffers a brutal demise, triggering a complete psychological breakdown that unleashes a feral rage.
This transformation leads him to a shocking finale where he not only utilizes his newly acquired skills but also succumbs to cannibalistic instincts, devouring his final opponent in a terrifying display of violence.
6 Robo Vampire
A Creative Copycat That Can’t Decide on a Genre
In contrast to Western martial arts films, many older Chinese productions like Robo Vampire often sidestep international copyright laws. This film is widely recognized for its blatant imitation of popular franchises like Robocop, recreating the protagonist’s origin story with an absurd twist involving hopping vampires as the antagonists.
The film’s low budget results in laughable attempts at representing high-concept characters, with the hero’s costume resembling crumpled tinfoil. From amateurish editing to exaggerated gore, Robo Vampire emerges as a perplexing fever dream within the martial arts genre that embraces its absurdity.
5 Shaolin Youth Posse
Puts Some Kids Through the Ringer in a Brutal Martial Arts Extravaganza
Shaolin Youth Posse features an intriguing premise: a martial arts film led entirely by child actors. The plot follows a young prince hiding in a Shaolin Temple from an evil princess’s henchmen. With the adults away on a critical mission, it falls upon the children to defend their sanctuary against relentless waves of attackers.
Though one might expect a lighthearted narrative considering the young cast, the film takes a surprisingly dark turn as children are brutally harmed by adult adversaries in vivid detail. Additionally, the roster of villains—from ninjas to ghosts—creates a chaotic atmosphere, adding to the bewildering and violent nature of the film.
4 Ninja III: The Domination
The Most Aggressively 80s Martial Arts Flick Ever Conceptualized
Description of Ninja III: The Domination borders on the Herculean in its absurdity. As the third installment in a series, it lacks the context to justify its bewildering storyline. It features Christie, an aerobics instructor, possessed by a dying ninja’s spirit, who seeks vengeance against his murderers—ordinary policemen.
The narrative escalates as the film introduces a misguided belief that only a ninja can confront another ninja, culminating in a climactic exorcism that integrates dazzling laser light displays. Amidst Christina’s blood-soaked rampage, the film borrows heavily from the aesthetic of films like The Exorcist, adding to its overall eccentricity.
3 Matching Escort
A Goofy, Campy Good Time with an Endearingly Weird Setup
Matching Escort introduces a protagonist with an astonishingly unique ability—powerful legs shaped by a lifetime spent wearing iron shoes. Following the massacre of her extensive family, she trains with the eccentric “Uncle Strange”to hone her natural half-crazed talents for retribution.
Pearl Cheung’s distinct vision as writer, director, and lead actor shines through, especially during the character’s unconventional training sequences. As she practices bizarre techniques, including meditating in toxic slime, the film morphs into an odd blend of comedy and action, populated with outlandish villains like ninjas and cyborgs.
2 The True Game Of Death
A Disheartening Exploitation of a Beloved Martial Arts Icon
Rarely does the genre delve into self-reference, but The True Game of Death showcases an exploitative treatment of the legendary Bruce Lee. This film imitates Lee’s earlier title, Game of Death, shamelessly opening with footage of his funeral before unveiling an unseen narrator who describes how a Lee lookalike will continue his legacy.
One particularly crass scene highlights Bruce’s death during a sexual encounter, portraying his demise in a tasteless manner. Despite its exploitative nature, the film features credible action as the Bruce Lee impersonator dons the iconic yellow jumpsuit to battle diverse opponents, including sumo wrestlers and a biker gang. Ultimately, it exemplifies a strange methodology of monetizing Bruce Lee’s enduring fame.
1 Lady Iron Monkey
A Kung Fu-Powered Genderswap of Tarzan
As a testament to the innovative spirit of late 70s kung fu cinema, Lady Iron Monkey introduces audiences to Ming Ling Shur, a child raised by apes who embodies a hybrid between human and monkey. Her unique upbringing grants her extraordinary skills in monkey-style kung fu, which an evil prince exploits once she falls for him.
The film brims with absurdist humor, distinguishing it from other martial arts narratives. Ming Ling Shur uses her tail as a propeller and contorts through dazzling action, while her love interest grapples with an ongoing shirtless gag. These elements combine to offer a one-of-a-kind blend of romance, adventure, and martial arts shenanigans unlike any other film.
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