Renowned for his versatility, Jason Statham seamlessly blends a hypermasculine action persona with comedic timing that rivals many stand-up comedians. Known as the master of one-liners, he has delivered an array of memorable quotes throughout his prolific film career. From intimidating displays of power to laugh-out-loud remarks, his dialogue often shines because of the context in which it is delivered.
Many of Statham’s movies center around extravagant action scenes loaded with explosions and high-speed car chases, often relegating dialogue to a secondary role. However, when he speaks, his words resonate. His distinct accent and gravelly voice add a unique flavor, making even the most mundane lines electrifying. Statham has a knack for self-deprecation that adds freshness to his performances, making less inspired scripts more enjoyable. Whether he’s in the midst of a brawl or engaging in a verbal sparring match, his delivery is always impactful.
10 “There’s a Million Scumbags in This World. It’s Hard to Keep Track of All of ‘Em.”
As Jonas Taylor in Meg 2: The Trench (2023)
This line perfectly encapsulates Statham’s experiences across his cinematic universe. With the release of Meg 2: The Trench stirring up sky-high expectations and a significant budget, it was essential to balance thrills—a gigantic shark with twists from within. Here, this statement reflects deeper layers of conflict, showcasing the actor’s adeptness at delivering lines with underlying gravitas.
Statham’s characters often oscillate between gruff bravado and profound loyalty, embodying a protector’s spirit, even against bizarre threats like a giant prehistoric octopus—definitely not the scumbag in question.
9 “We Can’t Have a Shoot Up Without Guns. We’d Lose.”
As Handsome Rob in The Italian Job (2003)
In a compelling ensemble for The Italian Job, Statham portrays Handsome Rob, a charismatic getaway driver. His chemistry with fellow actors and nifty lines showcase his comedic talent, which became instrumental in propelling his stardom. This particular quote, while straightforward, is steeped in humor thanks to Statham’s impeccable delivery, filled with earnestness wrapped in sarcasm.
He effortlessly brings levity to intense moments, charming audiences while amusing his on-screen partners, enhancing the film’s enjoyment factor.
8 “I’m Immune to 179 Different Types of Poison.”
As Rick Ford in Spy (2015)
In the meta-comedy Spy, Statham steps into the shoes of Rick Ford, a CIA agent whose antics provide comic relief alongside Melissa McCarthy’s character. This memorable line reveals Ford’s bravado and showcases how Statham’s characters often flirt with danger—a familiar motif in his career.
Statham brilliantly recalls perilous situations with exaggerated seriousness, blurring the lines between comedy and action. The longer version of the line humorously elaborates on his fictitious encounters with poison, and his other outrageous stories steal the show.
7 “I’m Gonna Make This Thing Bleed.”
As Jonas Taylor in The Meg (2018)
Facing formidable foes, Statham’s Jonas Taylor takes on a prehistoric Megalodon in this action-packed thriller. The film combines humor and tension, allowing Statham’s heroism to shine as he battles nature’s terrifying creation.
In this scene, serious and tense emotions clash as he preps for his dangerous confrontation, showcasing Statham’s ability to balance humor and drama effectively.
6 “I Wonder How Many Steaks I Could Make Out of You?”
As Chev Chelios in Crank (2006)
In the wildly creative film Crank, Statham portrays Chev Chelios, who must keep his heart rate elevated to stay alive. This zany premise drives the need for relentless action as he races through Los Angeles in search of an antidote.
As Chev confronts various villains, his witty one-liners flow seamlessly. This particular line not only highlights his character’s outrageousness but also serves as a testament to Statham’s comedic prowess, solidifying Chev Chelios as a fan-favorite character.
5 “You Don’t Need Your Mouth to Pee.”
As Frank Martin in The Transporter (2002)
In the original Transporter film, Statham proves he can carry an action flick as Frank Martin, a professional transporter of goods. As he navigates through adrenaline-fueled scenarios, he often finds himself protecting his cargo, which occasionally includes others.
This line plays out humorously amid a tense moment, showcasing Statham’s flair for blending action with comedy, encapsulating the essence of both the movie and the character. The Transporter series thrives on weaving humor into high-octane action.
4 “Next Time I’ll Deflate Your Balls, Friend.”
As Lee Christmas in The Expendables (2010)
In The Expendables, Statham joins a star-studded cast of action heroes, creating a unique blend of camaraderie and conflict. Set against a backdrop of explosive action, Statham’s character, Lee Christmas, finds himself mixing violence with humor.
This line serves as a perfect example of his character—the perfect combination of intimidation and levity. Statham embodies a protector determined to stand up against threats, driving home the importance of loyalty within his group.
3 “I Asked You to Give Me a Refreshing Drink. I Wasn’t Expecting a F*****g Rainforest! You Could Fall in Love With an Orangutan in That!”
As Bacon in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
In his breakthrough role, Statham captivates audiences as Bacon in Guy Ritchie’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. This film not only spotlighted his action chops but showcased his undeniable wit, becoming a pivotal moment in his career.
This line exemplifies the film’s blend of dark humor and violence, showcasing Statham’s ability to deliver sharp, memorable dialogue that resonates with viewers. It perfectly encapsulates the cheekiness Ritchie is known for, solidifying Statham’s place in Hollywood.
2 “I’m What You Might Call a Champagne Problem.”
As Deckard Hobbs in Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
Statham’s dynamic with Dwayne Johnson in the Fast & Furious franchise was so engaging that it spun into their own blockbuster. Their banter, laced with respect and rivalry, underpins the film’s charm, making it a treasure trove of uncanny yet quotable moments.
This line encapsulates Hobbs’ character perfectly as he elegantly dispatches goons while wielding a champagne bottle. His playful demeanor and elegant combat style pave an entertaining contrast that elevates the film’s overall experience.
1 “By the Powers Vested in Me, I Now Pronounce You Man and Knife.”
As Lee Christmas in The Expendables 2 (2012)
The success of the first Expendables film led to a sequel that embraced classic action tropes while introducing iconic characters. Statham returned as Lee Christmas, a character whose name humorously contrasts his ruthless efficiency.
In a memorable scene set in a church, he confidently asserts this line while prepared for battle, perfectly merging humor and action. Statham’s delivery of this quip showcases his skill to balance outlandishness with gravity, making it a highlight of the film. The layer of punning adds depth to his role, demonstrating his enjoyment in playing the character.
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