
Date Everything is a delightfully chaotic game populated by a variety of quirky characters and imaginative personalities. Boasting over 100 fully voiced entities, players can interact with characters that embody various household items and concepts, making for a truly unique dating simulation experience.
Interestingly, not all Dateables are inanimate objects; some personalities craft each romantic interaction into whimsical narratives filled with absurdity and self-referential humor, injected by the developers for comedic effect.
The essence of this game is not only silly but also creative, taking things to the next level with characters that are delightfully peculiar. Today, we’ll explore 11 Dateables that exemplify this theme with their outrageous designs, unpredictable personalities, and storylines that invite both laughter and perplexity.
Note: Mild spoilers ahead!
11 Hanks
House Homie!

Voiced By |
Robbie Daymond |
---|---|
Location |
Any closet: bedroom, laundry room, gym |
Date-A-Dex # |
72 |
At first glance, the Hanks appear to be a friendly bunch: five charming “himbo” housemates eager for adventures. Their camaraderie and support make them endearing, especially with their playful Gen-Z slang. However, as you delve deeper, their hive-mind mentality raises some unsettling questions about their individuality. A hinted backstory suggests that there once were more of them, adding to their intriguing yet chilling persona.
10 Parker Bradley
Get Ready For A Game Changer!

Voiced By |
Brennan Lee Mulligan |
---|---|
Location |
Attic |
Date-A-Dex # |
28 |
Parker Bradley earns his spot on this list due to his voice actor, Brennan Lee Mulligan, known for his energetic, zany persona and gaming acumen. Parker treats dating as a game governed by rules and dice, where fortune dictates the progression of your relationship. His competitive spirit and amusingly intense demeanor become a captivating challenge.
9 Vaughn Trapp
Ya Got The Cheese?

Voiced By |
Dana Snyder |
---|---|
Location |
Crawlspace |
Date-A-Dex Entry No. |
88 |
Vaughn Trapp epitomizes eccentricity, taking the form of an anthropomorphic rodent with a strong New Yorker accent. While he embodies a relatable frustration with life, his character feels more like a caricature, often relying on stereotypical tropes rather than offering genuine romance. Despite his unlikable demeanor, his inclusion adds a distinctive flavor to the narrative.
8 Wallace
WALLLLLL!!!

Voiced By |
Ray Chase |
---|---|
Location |
Hallway wall near the bedroom |
Date-A-Dex # |
3 |
Wallace is one of the wackiest Dateables, limited to exclaiming only “WALL.” This simplicity lends him a unique charm, and players quickly realize that, while he may not speak much, there’s profound humor in his one-dimensional character. For those willing to nurture the relationship, Wallace may surprise you with unexpected expressions.
7 xxXShadowl0rd420Xxx
It’s Not A Phase, Mom!

Voiced By |
Alex Le |
---|---|
Location |
Misaligned shadow next to the globe in the living room |
Date-A-Dex # |
97 |
This Dateable straddles the line between coolness and cringe.xxXShadowl0rd420Xxx, the embodiment of darkness, showcases exaggerated theatrics typical of a teenage edgelord. His evolution from a melodramatic character into a more relatable version of himself, Skips Shadley, is a delightful twist that evokes nostalgia for our younger, more angst-ridden selves.
6 Mikey Transaction
Give Me Your Money!

Voiced By |
Max Mittelman |
---|---|
Location |
Bedroom, treasure chest on the nightstand (DLC) |
Date-A-Dex # |
102 |
Mikey Transaction satirizes gaming’s microtransaction culture, presenting a humorous critique of the market’s tactics. His backstory as a divorced dad adds depth, serving as a reminder of the pitfalls of addiction, even in gaming’s comedic guise.
5 The Sassy Chap
Date All 30 Devs!

Voiced By |
Adam Croasdell |
---|---|
Location |
Credits “app”on your phone |
Date-A-Dex # |
95 |
The Sassy Chap is a delightful break from convention, representing the game’s developers as an avatar. Instead of depth, he presents a lighthearted approach to celebrating the creative talents behind the game, facilitating unique interactions with the development team.
4 Daemon
VAR WeirdDateable = True

Voiced By |
John Patneaude |
---|---|
Location |
Bedroom dresser |
Date-A-Dex # |
68 |
Daemon personifies a programming bug, delivering an insightful yet humorous take on the game development process. With hints about their creation tools and self-aware humor, Daemon offers players a blend of charm and quirkiness that’s both unsettling and delightful.
3 Dishy
Sexy Mode: Activated

Voiced By |
Eric Bauza |
---|---|
Location |
Kitchen |
Date-A-Dex # |
39 |
Dishy, the sentient dishwasher, is the epitome of peculiarity, combining lighthearted quirkiness with undertones of something deeply unsettling. As interactions unfold, players witness his bizarre transformation into a fantastical entity, culminating in an unexpected and thrilling boss fight that truly surprises.
2 Doug
Hope You’re Good At Sudoku

Voiced By |
Sung Won Cho |
---|---|
Location |
Stare at the wall for 30 seconds opposite the dining room window |
Date-A-Dex # |
98 |
Doug stands out as a character created primarily for comedic effect, representing existential dread. His interaction requires players to engage in a quirky task—staring at a wall—which embodies the absurdity. With his dry humor and philosophical musings, Doug transcends the game as either a loveable curmudgeon or an irritating reminder of life’s profundities.
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