The latest episode of 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way aired on Monday, October 14, 2024, featuring a pivotal scene where Tata and James encountered her parents. During this meeting, Tata requested James to share his choice not to pursue parenthood. Despite recognizing it could lead to complications, he was willing to comply for his wife’s sake.
James felt apprehensive about discussing this topic with Tata’s parents, considering that in Indonesia, having children is often viewed as an essential part of marriage. He worried that his unconventional viewpoint might threaten their relationship.
Gathering his strength, James articulated his stance against having children, citing concerns about bringing a new life into a world filled with turmoil and suffering. This sentiment came as a shock to Tata’s parents, who held a firm belief that the primary objective in marriage is to raise children. They stood resolute in their views, leaving little room for compromise.
After extensive discussions, the couple settled on re-evaluating their position once they achieved greater financial stability. While Tata was eager to welcome a child to enrich their bond, James remained hesitant about the prospect.
Emotional Discussions on Parenthood Between Tata, James, and Her Parents on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way
In the episode entitled “Daughter of the Bride,”James faced a tough conversation with Tata’s family regarding his refusal to have children. Though he felt reluctant to share such a personal matter, Tata encouraged him to speak up, anticipating her parents would begin urging them to start a family following their wedding.
Ultimately, he chose to deliver this difficult message, adhering to one of the three commitments he had made to Tata’s father. Aware that it was a “recipe for disaster,”he felt a sense of urgency to address it.
James conveyed his concerns, referencing the complicated state of the world, and his uncertainty about the wisdom of becoming a parent. After Tata translated his words, her mother responded:
“But the primary goal of getting married is usually to have children.”
Tata’s father further elaborated, stating that without children, there would be “no legacy,”emphasizing the importance of leaving a mark on the world. Tata expressed to James that her parents desired a “history”that their future children would represent.
As her mother remarked that a marriage lacking children would feel “empty,”Tata was visibly moved and in tears. This sentiment led James to question whether he was being “selfish.” Despite their uncertainty, her parents urged the couple to have at least one child, suggesting they wait until their financial situation improved to revisit the topic.
James ultimately conceded that he would consider a change in his decision after they got their finances in order. However, he later expressed to the cameras that altering his perspective on parenthood would prove challenging, regardless of their financial circumstances.
Tata conveyed to James that having a child would bring “joy”to her parents, while he wrestled with his own indecision. He recognized that her parents might persistently pressure him until he either changed his stance or ended his relationship with Tata.
“It’s a terrifying feeling because for me not wanting to have children, I can’t see it changing,”James admitted.
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs every Monday at 8 PM ET exclusively on TLC.
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